


Pacific Daylight Time

by missymisery



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: 2000s, 2010s, Additional Tags to Be Added, Alternate Universe, Because its gotham, Childhood Friends, Drug Use, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Minor Character Death, Pining, Slow Burn, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unrequited Love, Violence, a little ooc, always be my maybe inspired, at least for the beginning, but like more angsty, ed being a dumbass, friends to lovers to awkward acquaintances to friends again to lovers, i dont know shit about medicine so forgive me, inaccuracies because i was like 8 in 2010, number of chapters might change, tbh thats just this series’ whole progression, use of slurs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-20 03:37:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19985464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missymisery/pseuds/missymisery
Summary: “Ten years is a hell of a long time, Ed.”Oswald Cobblepot hasn’t seen Edward Nashton in 10 years, and the riddle obsessed bastard decides to take residency in Gotham General after graduation. It goes about as well as you think.





	Pacific Daylight Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nygmadaydreams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nygmadaydreams/gifts).



> Took me long enough to post this. Title is from the song Heart Swells/Pacific Daylight Time by Los Campesinos. Chapter 1 is split into three because the outline for it is so fucking long and I feel bad for putting this off long enough. Uhh if you came here ‘cuz of Uncanny that’s gonna be put on hold because I have a Good Omens comic on going on my ig right now (you can check it out on the #gobadendau tag) but I swear I’ll finish that one. So this one took lots of inspiration from Always Be My Maybe, and it’s going to chronicle Ed and Oswald’s life after high school. It’s going to be a bit more heavy than Ches’s part—mostly because it’s Gotham and we all know how adult Oswald is like. Hope you all enjoy despite the wait! <3

So, that happened.

Like it really _actually_ happened.

It was one thing to imagine it, to dream of that moment, to long for Ed’s hand touching his face, in the way that he’s always imagined—

But god.

For it to happen? He felt like he was in a dream. Like everything was much lighter, the uncertainty that weighed over him lifting like a cloud. It felt like he was above ground, feet barely grazing the pavement of reality as he was flushed red with the sort of giddy lovesickness these teenage romances tended to inflict upon those who become condemned with it. God, he said it like it was a bad thing, but force of habit, he thinks. Skepticism and cynicism has always been the way Oswald dealt with things, though Ed’s own bubbly personality caused Oswald’s prickly exterior to crack at times.

But whatever, he was getting off track.

What mattered was he felt absolutely goddamn light about all this.

At least, he did the night before.

Now Oswald just felt a strong sense of dread creeping up on him, like a chill that spread from his chest. God.

GOD.

In any other story, he thinks, this would have resulted in romance, right? The next day they’d be a thing and they’d laugh at their years of thinly veiled attempts at romance, laugh at how positively dense they had been to ignore the other’s clear romantic advances.

In a novel maybe, Oswald thinks, casting a nervous glance at Ed who sat on the opposite end of the couch they shared.

Yes.

He should probably do that.

He swallows down a lump in his throat and forced himself to push his hands against the couch to face Ed, away from the comfort of being pressed against the sidearm in an attempt to avoid confrontation.

“Ed—”

“We kissed,” Ed said, cutting him off. Said wasn’t the word, it was more like a squeak, which in Oswald’s opinion was adorable and endearing, though he shouldn’t let himself get distracted—“That happened.”

He felt the unease in his chest grow, biting his lip and turning his head away to avoid the look in Ed’s eyes, whatever it was. He didn’t wanna look.

“Yeah,” Oswald said, nodding. “We did.”

“So, erm,” Ed said, and Oswald decided to at least _try_ , so he turned to look at his best friend (boyfriend??), his head propped against his palms. His arms rested on his knees as he leaned forward, trying to seem not at all freaked out about this entire fucking scenario.

He really shouldn’t have drank last night. The throbbing in his head didn’t help matters much.

Ed was twiddling his thumbs together—because of _course_ he was, shifting those brown eyes to his shoes and avoiding Oswald’s gaze.

“Yeah?”

Ed pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, taking a shaky breath. “What… what are we now?”

Oswald shrugged. “Whatever you want us to be, I guess.”

To Ed, Oswald might’ve looked indifferent, but in reality, Oswald was batshit fucking _terrified_ out of his goddamn wits. His heart raced, blood rushing and he felt the anxiety within him rise as he waited with bated breath, his hands feeling icy from the nerves.

Instead of answering, Ed turned his head to stare right into Oswald’s eyes. “What do _you_ want us to be?”

Oswald said nothing as he shifted his eyes and took in Ed in this moment, the way Ed’s brows scrunched together and he looked serious, for once, and not in the way Oswald usually saw him, no, this felt almost raw in a way. Ed stared at him expectantly, and even with the glare of the living room light on his glasses Oswald could see his eyes were piercing, and he’s never seen Ed this way before. Never so serious, never so stern.

He looked almost solemn, his face both relaxed and tense, both unreadable yet the most honest he’s seen Ed in all the time he’s known him. He cannot make sense of these conflicting ideas, but the way he saw Ed now made his heart skip a beat and stop, made his breath hitch and made him go cold. And yet Ed still looked so goddamn perfect, still made Oswald yearn, and with the look on his face that Oswald wasn’t even sure what to feel about, Oswald felt both fear and relief rushing through him, and perhaps this was what love was. Two conflicting ideas that never should make sense but they somehow do.

Or maybe he was just being weird.

Probably just that.

He allows the question to register in his mind and lingers on it for a moment, Ed still watching him with that pensive gaze. How someone can look so expressionless yet so open was lost on Oswald.

He doesn’t really know what he wants them to be. Boyfriends? But the word felt _wrong_ , not because of the cultural stigma it held (Lord knows Oswald was over all _that_ , though he wasn’t entirely sure about Ed), but because it felt almost… shallow. Boyfriends and girlfriends came and went in Gotham High, he knew this as well as anyone.

To call Ed his boyfriend felt almost disingenious. Years and years they spent together, years they still have, and yet—to simply dumb their relationship down to something as fickle as high school romance didn’t feel _right_. They deserved better.

 _Ed_ deserved better.

Oswald shifted his eyes back toward Ed’s own. “I want to love you.”

“Me too,” Ed said softly, and there was something in the way he said it that felt so _real_.

Oswald’s heart raced, and despite the headache that was building up in the back of his mind, he suddenly grabbed Ed’s hand without thinking. Ed tensed, but he didn’t pull away.

“I’ve love you, Ed Nashton,” Oswald breathed out, and Ed sucked in a breath, and Oswald could feel his own heart stop but he continued on, unsure if it was a good idea for him to do this after he was still mildly hungover, but his mother always told him to leap at something if he wanted it, and God did he want Ed—“And I want you to know that.”

Ed stared at him, brows furrowed and lip quivering, not from fear, but from the sudden movement, the sudden proximity of their faces once more. “But that doesn’t answer my question.”

“I want whatever you want us to be,” Oswald said simply. Despite his words, some part of him whispered otherwise, but he ignored it. Love was sacrifice, wasn’t it? The terror coursing through him at the rawness of his own confession wasn’t important. He had to push through with this or else he’d be a total fucking coward.

He ignores the part of him that thinks he could be scaring Ed off. Overwhelm Ed. After all, Ed was a frazzled mess of nerves and neurotic energy. If he pushed too hard Ed might leave, Ed might think he was _weird_.

And logically Oswald knew Ed would never, but the worry was there, nagging at the back of his mind.

“How long?” Ed asks instead of a response.

“What?”

“How long have you felt this way?”

Oswald falters. He didn’t expect that, and he moves away, the part of him whispering to take the almost obsessive adoration down a notch, to dial down on the desperation.

He wanted to say _for as long as I can remember, Edward Nashton, I’ve been in love with you_ , but the part of him that was unsure, the part of him that was slowly worming its way to the forefront of his mind and making him see Ed’s expression not as one of genuinity but one of steely coolness, that part, it held him back, because after all this time, Ed didn’t turn his way, only now, was it because of the succession of rejection and failed attempts at romance that he finally saw Oswald as a viable option?

As if reading what he was thinking, Ed put his other hand over the hand that Oswald laid on Ed’s, expression softening. “Hey, it’s okay. We can figure this out together.”

It felt weird to be in this situation. He was usually the sure one, the one who knew what to do, but for some reason, he couldn’t think.

He nodded lamely, resting his head on Ed’s shoulder. It felt like there was a buzzing in the back of his skull, and instead of saying anything, he closed his eyes, feeling so damn exhausted.

* * *

“You, Oswald Cobblepot, are a colossal dumbass.”

Oswald rolled his eyes at Jim, taking his lunch tray and heading over to his usual spot. Ed wasn’t at school today, something about his dad, which on any normal day would leave Oswald fuming at the elder Nashton, but right now he was grateful for Ed’s absence, because he needed to breathe from the awkward glances and the half-meant conversations.

Despite the attention that the events of prom had attracted to the newly crowned king, Jim didn’t look particularly royal, not with the now-healing black eye and bruises littering the side of his face. “I’m not the one who picked a fight with Tom Dougherty because he called their girlfriend a slur.”

“Okay, first of all, ouch,” Jim said. “Second of all, that’s not what we’re talking about.”

“Why are you even sitting with me?” He deflected, gesturing to Jim’s friends on the other end of the cafeteria. “You haven’t exhausted your hot topic of the month points yet.”

“We are here to talk about how terrible you are at romance.”

“Says the guy who dated four girls!” Oswald shot back.

“It’s just four more reasons why I’m more well versed in this art than you are, Cobblepot.”

Oswald grumbled, glaring at Jim. “Make your point.”

“Look,” Jim said. “This is good. This is _progress_. From what I can tell, Ed actually likes you. I mean, he kissed you. That’s pretty indicative of his feelings, Oz.”

Oswald lifted his head up from the table. “Or he just feels bad.”

“When did you get so insecure about this?” Jim asked. “He likes you. That’s a no brainer.”

“‘Cept I’m pretty fuckin’ terrified of him figuring out just how much I like him,” Oswald mumbled. “He’ll think I’m weird.”

“Hey, cut that shit out.”

“Cut what out?”

“That whole self-deprecating bullshit, Oswald,” Jim said, putting his head down to Oswald’s level, irritation gracing his features. “You’re overthinking.”

“Yeah, no _shit_ ,” Oswald said. “I’m questioning the amount of faith I can put into Ed’s sudden interest, considering I’ve spent my whole middle school and high school life being pitifully in love as he went on his own pathetic venture into heterosexuality.”

“Oswald,” Jim said. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m being realistic,” Oswald said, sitting up straight. Jim moved, hopping on the table and raising a brow at Oswald. “I was drunk that night, too, and Ed was pretty—“

“Oswald you’re so fucking dense.”

Oswald glared at him. “You know, this is making me regret all those times I scooted over to you during lunch. Is this retribution?”

Jim shrugged. “Maybe.” He leaned back, the palms of his hand pressed against the table as he looked at Oswald. “I just don’t get it. You’ve wanted Ed for so long but now that he’s yours you’re hesitating.”

“I just… I’m scared,” Oswald said. “We’ve been friends for so long. What if it gets ruined because of this dumb romance thing, man? Like—god. This is all just so complicated and confusing.”

“Romance is never simple, Oz,” Jim said. “Trust me.”

Oswald sighed. “I suppose…” He trailed off, not knowing what else to say. “I’ll figure out what to do eventually. But right now I just… I need to figure this all out.”

“Have you considered, you know, just telling him how you feel?”

“What if I scare him off?”

Jim sighed. “Oswald, you won’t, trust me. He likes you. It’s painfully obvious to anyone who isn’t you. It’ll be fine.”

Before Oswald could retort, the bell rang, and he groaned. “Dammit.”

Jim snorted. “We share the next class, stupid. I’ll see you there.”

* * *

To nobody’s surprise, Ed got into his dream school, some university a full 24 hour drive away.

And to nobody’s surprise, Oswald did not.

That was fine, he thought to himself. Getting into university immediately wasn’t on his list of priorities—the financial burden it would weigh on his mother made Oswald guilty just at the prospect. He’d figure it out later.

He had bigger fish to fry.

Like his status with Ed.

The two tried to approach the topic earlier, though to no avail. Ed was always either too busy or Oswald was, and whenever the two _did_ have free time, they were never quite sure how to approach it.

It was probably Oswald’s fault. Ed seemed reluctant to pry since the morning after prom, and Oswald knew it was because of his own hesitation to reach out.

It wasn’t as if he didn’t want to talk about it. He was just unsure of how to start, and uncertain whether or not Ed was even interested.

God, he was probably just being stupid.

“Hey,” Ed said, fiddling with the lock on his locker. Oswald turned to look at him.

“Hey,” He said back, though there was a tenseness in the air that wouldn’t fully go away.

Jesus.

“So…” Oswald said, dragging out the _o_ in a lame attempt to lift the awkwardness that weighed on them. “How’s college plans?”

Ed smiled, lips pursed into a thin line as he nodded. “Yep,” He said. “I thought my dad would be pretty pissed off at the commute, but he seemed more than eager to finally kick me out of the house.”

Oswald kicked at an imaginary rock at his feet. “He’s not paying?”

“Oh, he is,” Ed said. “I think it’s an unspoken agreement to make sure that once I’m a hotshot doctor I’ll be paying his royalties for being such a good father.”

Oswald snorted. “Man, fuck your dad.”

Ed laughed lightly. “Well, least I have a stable financial status when I’m there.” He went quiet for a moment, biting his lip. “Oswald, can we talk about what h—”

“—I had the same exact idea,” Oswald said, cutting off Ed. “The financial status thing I mean.”

Ed frowned. There was something akin to disappointment in his eyes.

“Yeah?”

“I was planning on doing community college,” Oswald said, avoiding the look in Ed’s eyes. “Then figuring out the rest later. It’s not like my mom’s rich, y’know.”

Ed was quiet.

Oswald felt a lump in his throat, swallowing it down as he continued. “And—”

“Oswald,” Ed said sternly. He grabbed Oswald’s wrist, and Oswald felt his heart skip a beat. “We can’t keep avoiding this forever.”

“I don’t—”

“Oswald,” Ed said. “I’m going to leave soon.”

“And…?” Oswald tried to avoid thinking about how Ed was going to quite literally be gone for what will be many years. It’ll be fine. He’ll visit. Ed will too. So it’s fine. Everything was _fine_.

“We have to talk about it.”

Oswald sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“You said you love me,” Ed said. “And I think I…”

He looked up, staring at Oswald. God, say it, Ed, please, finish it.

 _—Love you_.

Oswald wanted him to finish the words, wanted Ed to love him, to be his, but it wouldn’t work, wouldn’t it?

“Ed,” Oswald said. “Look—it’s like you said. You’re leaving. And this… it can’t work. Not now. Not when you’re about to leave.”

“But it can,” Ed said, and there was something in his voice, like a twinge of desperation, but it was probably just Oswald wishing Ed loved him like he loved Ed. “Someday. Yeah?”

Oswald was quiet for a second, and Ed’s grip on his wrist loosened, Ed’s gaze shifting until Oswald spoke. “...Yeah,” Oswald said. “But right now, you have a future, Ed. I can’t tether you here.”

To do that would be selfish.

And Oswald loves Ed.

He wouldn’t keep him here.

He can’t.

Ed needed to leave. Ed needed to go and make a name for himself, away from Gotham, away from his father. Even if it meant Oswald was left behind.

He’ll be fine.

“We’ll figure this out,” Ed said, an echo of his words after prom. “I promise you.”

The bell rung.

Oswald pulled his hand away from Ed, staring at the bell. “Well… see you later, then.”

Ed stared at him as Oswald walked off, weakly raising his own hand. “Bye.”

* * *

“Eddie!” Barbara said, running over to hug Ed. “We’re gonna miss you!”

Tabitha shifted impatiently from behind them. Oswald stood beside her, snorting. “Barb, you’re gonna suffocate him,” He snickered, watching as Ed tensed uncomfortably at her spine crushing hold.

Mr. Nashton was sitting at the front seat, almost annoyed, but he didn’t speak up. Oswald was thankful for that. Ed’s father may be a piece of shit but he at least let Ed have this moment of goodbye.

Oswald really couldn’t let himself believe it. He had been dreading this day, of course, but to see it happen was surreal.

Ed was leaving.

Fuck.

(He reminded himself Ed promised to visit for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and Oswald promised to always come for New Year’s. He had been given the address to Ed’s new living quarters two weeks prior, so it’s not like he’d be lost.)

School had ended rather lamely, and Oswald and Ed spent the first month of summer completely avoiding the topic.

That was definitely Oswald’s fault.

It was more of a conscious decision at this point. He was the only thing that was really keeping Ed here. Ed was having doubts about leaving, he knew, he could clearly see it in the brunet’s eyes.

Ed had so much potential and it’d be a waste if he threw it all away for Oswald’s own benefit. Oswald was selfish but he couldn’t let Ed stay if it means Ed would rot away like the rest of the city, fade away into obscurity instead of the greatness Oswald knew he had.

At this point, he didn’t doubt Ed liked him. Jim was right.

Ed found him funny, found him endearing, but as much as the bespectacled teen adored Oswald, Oswald wasn’t entirely convinced Ed _loved_ him.

Teen romance was fickle, he reminds himself. Ed’s feelings were no exception. He shifted from girl to girl with each rejection, so as much as Oswald wanted to selfishly keep Ed to himself he knew Ed would be fine when he was in university.

And if Ed really did like him—they’ll figure it out on one of the aforementioned planned visits.

It’ll be _fine._

“Oops, sorry,” Barbara said, pulling away. “Look at you. Gotham High’s own little valedictorian, heading off to a big university!”

“Barbara, you sound like my mother,” Oswald said, rolling his eyes.

“Well, it’s not like he has one,” Barbara said. “I gotta smother him for all those years he had without a mom, right?”

Ed shifted uncomfortably.

Jim came to Ed’s rescue. “Barbs, you’re making him uncomfortable.”

Barbara pouted. “Can’t I say goodbye before Ed fucks off forever?”

Oswald glanced at Tabitha. He knew Tabitha never liked Ed. Neither did Butch, who Oswald was rather fond of if he were being honest. He still couldn’t figure out what Tabitha and Butch were, and he knew Barbara was with Tabitha, but dealing with the specifics of their possible triad made Oswald’s head hurt.

“Really, it’s fine,” Ed said. Oswald could tell he was a little overwhelmed by their little goodbye party, considering Ed was already loading his stuff to the trunk.

Everyone was there—at least, mostly everyone. Lee, Jim, Barbara, Tabitha, Zsasz, Ivy… he couldn’t be bothered to list down the rest.

But really, he wished he could say his goodbye without the others being there. It wasn’t goodbye forever, but… Oswald wanted to say a few things.

“Hey, Ed, can I say some stuff to you in private?” Oswald spoke up, and Ed eyed the others.

“That’s code for they’re gonna start making out,” Zsasz said. Oswald glared at him, Ed flushing red. “C’mon, let’s give them some alone time.”

While he was annoyed at the remark, he was thankful for Victor’s interruption. As the others scurried off, Oswald walked over to Ed.

Ed stared at the asphalt, kicking some of the dirt off his shoes. “So…”

“I’ll miss you so fucking much,” Oswald said, suddenly pulling Ed in for a hug.

“Are you _crying_?” Ed asked, and as Oswald lifted his head away from Ed’s chest, he realized that yes, he was in fact crying.

“Oh shut up,” Oswald mumbled, burying his chest in Ed’s for a little moment longer. Ed smelled of laundry detergent and peppermint toothpaste. “Let me be emotional.”

“We’re going to be seeing each other in November, Oz.”

“That’s too long,” Oswald said. “Who the hell am I going to hang out with when you’re out with your college buddies and going on cool parties?”

“Jim,” Ed said. “Oswald, hey. You’ll be fine. Okay?”

“I know,” Oswald muttered, pulling away and wiping his nose on his jacket sleeve. “I’m just being melodramatic.”

Ed smiled. “I know.”

“Now go!” Oswald said, crossing his arms and trying to look intimidating despite the ugly tears running down his face. “You better write and call while you’re in college, dummy.”

Ed just laughed, wiping a tear that had come on his own eye. “‘Course. I’m not an ass.”

He got in the passenger seat, and his father started up the car.

“See you in a couple months, Oswald!”

Oswald waved as they drove off, sticking out a tongue as Ed waved back.


End file.
